
2009
2006
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walau this sarks. i hate how everything is now- omg i hope this doesn't become some emo shit post. everything is just..... i don't know. everything around me, everyone, friends who call themselves as friends. yes i hope you're seeing this and i hope you know how i feel. coz despite being whoever i am, i'm not planning to talk to you about this. its all so different now don't you think? i wonder how its gonna be like some time later. (no specific dates mentioned) sometimes i wondered if i made the right choice. i hate one night friendship stands. (in this case, months). i don't know why i actually followed yall- i sort of knew that this would happen. yet i trusted you, i trusted us that none of this would happen. and now its all happening. and i don't know what to do coz i don't think i can change anything. this taught me to NOT trust anyone so readily.
siigggggggggggggggggggggggggh i really don't like whats' happening now- and worst thing is, exams are coming. i hope nothing happens during exam period.
on the other hand, i've been depending very much on God for everything these few days, and of course a couple of good friends to get on with things. i've started studying and all, but i wished i could go faster. like i've been studying monday-wednesday. and after that i just stopped coz i wanted to get some sleep. i need to realize that studying is tiring. i just haven't realized it yet. i guess i will, soon! when exams finally start. i can see myself NOT knowing anything about chem one day before the exams. tsk where's tessa when i need a tessa! she's gone.
i'm super worried but i just don't show it i guess. i always need to scream and shout at evrything. but i just have what it takes to be calm- even though i can feel weird chemical reactions happening in my body. self control. if i didn't have it, everyone would've died.
bye
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